A Letter To Those That Are Taken

Being single sucks. It's been wearing on me for awhile now but not for reasons that many may think. There is, and always has been, a streak in me that is terribly independent. I like to prove that I can do things by myself and definitely without the assistance of a man. The things I cannot or will not do myself, such as auto repair/maintenance, get taken to a professional because I know that they'll do it properly and that my money will keep them in business. But when it comes to balancing my checkbook, putting together a piece of furniture, hanging a painting on the wall or taking out the trash, I am quite happy to simply do it myself. Sometimes I fear that I am too independent for my own good because while I am capable of doing these things myself, it would be nice if there was someone who was willing to do them for me.

There are positives to being single such as making my own schedule, deciding how to spend my money and having lots of time to explore & enjoy the things that make me happy. But I also don't have someone to share private jokes with or to watch tv with or to tell about my day at work. No one is there to welcome me home from a business trip or to be concerned if they don't hear from me. At the end of the day, I still don't have a witness to my everyday life.

But the thing that drives me the most crazy about being single is the thoughts and opinions of people who are not. It seems that everyone from family to coworkers to friends to acquaintances has something to share with me about being single. I often want to tell them to shove it! The most common comments/situations that bring my bitterness to a boil are:

• "Don't worry, you just haven't met the right person" - This is a load of crap. I don't believe in soul mates. And there are a couple of people that I have dated who just might have been the right person. The truth is simply that I wasn't ready to admit it. Truth is, they may have been the "one that got away."
• "Be glad you're single" - WHY? Because you wish you were? Trust me, you don't, so stop trying to live vicariously. And for those that are married who say this, I want to tell them that they wouldn't survive three days in my single shoes.
• Judgments about my social life - Yes, I am in my 30s and yes, I spend a lot of time going out w/ friends whether it be to the bar, a concert, happy hour, dinner or some other social gathering. But next time you care to comment on the fact that I still sometimes close down the bar or make dinner plans four times in one week, please bite your tongue. The path to no longer being single requires one to be social so they can meet someone. And remember that my alternative is a night on the couch by myself.
  
• Men who tell me that they can't believe I'm still single - Yes, I am attractive, intelligent, fun and like sports. I even have season tickets to the Tigers. But don't tell me that you can't believe I'm single, unless you follow it up with an offer to introduce me to a single friend/relative/co-worker. Because it's the single guys that I need to be thinking those things. Not the married ones.
  
• Invitations to couples showers - Any type of event with the word "couple" in the title implies just what it says - that it is for couples. If you're having one, don't invite me. (On a side note, I told this to a friend recently and she decided not to call it a couples shower after all. Love her for that!)

The list could go on but you get my drift. Being single is hard. Dating is even harder. And being lonely is the hardest. So next time you want to comment on my single status, remember that it might be best to just keep those thoughts to yourself.

Unless, of course, you want to set me up. ;)